When In Doubt, Drink Vodka!
by SenkiroWolf
Summary: A undercover CIA agent has a mysterious stranger in her home...What will happen when the Russian Mafia and the CIA get involved? Well nothing good. Will develop to YautjaXHuman!
1. Shot For Good Measure

It took me two days to come up for a title for this story! XD Then it just came to me, while watching Predator and Predator 2. Anyway new story about a CIA agent undercover in Moscow. Forgive me, I don't know to much about Moscow, but the whole story won't be set just there. Rating might increase... Peace Out!

Disclaimer:Do not own Predators or anything related to them. Kind of wish I did though...

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_Moscow_

Walking through the crowded streets of Moscow was my current mission. I had to get to Arseni's shop. It was a alcohol store that was small and served mostly regulars. In my two years of living here, I became one of those people. Spotting Arseni's sign I veered to the left, trying to avoid running into most of the people. As I made it to the front door, I smiled triumphantly and walked in.

The bell above the door made a low dinging noise that drifted through the small store with a slight echo. I glanced at the main counter and saw three bottles of vodka. That made me smile. Arseni always knew what I wanted, and seemingly when I was going to get there. Glancing around that no one was in the store, I strode up to the counter and leaned against it. "Arseni? You in here?"

A late forty's, early fifty's, man came out from behind a curtain that resided behind the counter. "Ah. Sandra. Here for vodka?" I nodded. "Honey, pepper, and regular." He grabbed the three bottles and placed them in a bag for me. "There you go." He spoke in his mature Russian accent. I could mimic one pretty well, but the real Russians always amazed me with theirs.

Grasping my vodka bag, I smiled at him. "Thanks Arseni! I'll tell Nikolai hello for you." The older man just nodded and gave me a wave of farewell. Before leaving the store, I stared out the window contemplating whether I wanted to drive all the way home in the freezing weather. My mind won out, as I stepped through the doorway and into the low temperature.

Shivering involuntarily, I booked it down to my car and got in. Turning it on, turning the heat on high, and gently placing my vodka in the passenger seat, I drove off. Living in a smallish house thirty minutes north of Moscow, I didn't come down that often. I only came down for my vodka, fun times, and my boyfriend, Nikolai. Getting home was my main priority now. They said a major storm was coming, and I really didn't want to be caught in a blizzard. Right before I left I saw what looked to be a shooting star.

_Home_

Just as I pulled into the driveway, snow started falling. At first it was slow and steady, but as soon as I crossed my threshold, it picked up and started howling. Slamming my front door, I whirled around and pointed at the snow in particular. "Ha! I beat you!" I laughed sardonically at the frozen precipitation. Walking over to my kitchen counter, I placed my vodka on the counter, then bolted upstairs to take a hot shower and change into some warm pajamas.

My shower lasted for roughly thirty minutes, for I did not wish to leave it's warm clutches. Looking in my mirror, I imagined what my visage would say if it could talk. My dark brown hair that ran to my waist, green eyes that had the color of summer trees. I raised a thin eyebrow and ran a hand over my face. _'God, I need more sleep.'_ I thought that right before I heard a creak of steps.

My mind went into defensive overload. I immediately looked for something I could use as a weapon. A flatiron? Down the hall I heard a click. That signaled that the user had a gun. _'Shit.'_ That means I had nothing, and the person knew which room I was in so no ambush would be successful. Sighing I hoped that I could struggle it away from this person.

They turned the corner of the door. No sign of the man's face was visible in the shadows. "Who are you?" No response. They raised the gun slowly and pointed it at me. I had no time to try and attack. All that was in my ears was two explosions in my ears. The two shots fired. I fell to the floor feeling agonizing pain in my lower left abdomen, and just below my shoulder, right above my right breast. My vision went slightly blurry from pain, and I couldn't make out what he had said, but I knew the voice was familiar.

Upon raising his weapon again, something else in the house moved. My attacker lowered his gun and bolted for another exit. I let my head slump against the floor and momentarily went unconscious.

_Somewhere in the blizzard_

Rek'hish was not a happy yautja. Some _pauk-de_ Bad Blood, shot his ship and made his crash land on the ooman planet. He was uninjured, but his ship was a little worse for wear. He sat in his slowly dying ship contemplating if he should step out into the freezing temperature. If he stayed the ship would shut down and he'd most likely freeze to death. If he left, he could find some warmth and wait to come back when it wasn't so cold to salvage his ship and make a distress call back to his planet.

He let out a sighing growl. He might as well reserve some of the ship's energy to salvage it later. Shutting off the ship's systems, Rek'hish stepped out into the winter wonderland. He gave an involuntary shiver. _'Damn ooman planet.'_ He retrieved some of his more portable necessities to take with him before he started off to find some _warm_ sanctuary.

Using his infrared vision he searched for the most typical place that matched his requirements. Around fifty noks from his current position, there was an ooman residence. _'Better than nothing._' He silently thought to himself. Trudging through the snow paid off when he was a measly five noks from the house. Stepping up to the small door, in comparison to him, he pushed on it. Nothing. He saw the handle further down and decided to turn it and push. The door swung open. Quickly entering the house and shutting the door, Rek'hish felt at ease with the sudden warmth.

On the upper level he heard feet on the floor, running out another exit. Well that meant no one was home. He scanned the area to make sure. Nothing again. He sighed internally and found a burning fireplace that he decided to set himself in front of. _'Ah warmth.'_ Was the only rational thought that entered his mind. Rek'hish figured he might as well get some rest. He slowly drifted off unawares of the injured ooman upstairs.

_Sandra_

After a minute of blackness, I started to see things in my vision again. The pain had not subsided, and I knew that I would have to clean my wounds and get the bullets out. Sometimes working for the CIA had its perks. Like survival training. Grabbing the edge of the counter for support, I slowly began to rise from my painful position on the bathroom floor. As soon as I was upright and vertical, I swayed. Maybe this was a bit more difficult than originally thought. Trying to keep myself upright, I made it to the top of the stairs. Deciding that sliding down on my butt would be a bit easier, I did so.

Each thump was jarring in my side and chest. It felt like a thousand acupuncture needles going into the same spot at the same time. Repeatedly and at the speed that a semi would go. The last few steps, I straightened my back and stumbled over to my counter and grabbed a stool. Sitting on the stool and leaning my back on the counter, I grabbed my personal med-kit from the top right drawer, my regular vodka, and some salt.

Opening my med-kit, it wasn't your typical one for little kids when they get boo-boos. This had supplies to make my own IV drip, gauzes, tape, a syringe, some liquid to ward off infection, and a long, thin pair of tweezers.

Taking my hand off my gun wound in the left abdominal region, I grabbed the tweezers. Finding something I could bite down on, a dish towel, I made sure that I was biting hard. I inserted the tweezers into my skin, I screamed into the towel. The utensil just went deeper and deeper until I could feel the bullet that had found its way into my body. Gripping it tightly, I slowly retracted the shot and placed it on the counter. I repeated the same step on the bullet above the right side of my chest. It hurt like hell.

Next I grabbed my vodka. Taking a swig, which I should have done before just to get my mind off it, I poured it over both my flesh wounds. It burned more than the surface of the sun. I cried into the towel. Now for the salt. I poured it on and had the same reaction as the vodka. Speaking of, I took another swig from the bottle.

The final parts were easy. Wrapping up the wounds in gauze, I took out the syringe and liquid. I looked for a good vein to stick it into, and used the one in the crook of my arm. I barely felt it, for my mind was still registering the pain of the gun shots.

I was finally done. Smacking my head back into the cupboard, I took another long gulp of the vodka. _'Ahh settles the tummy.'_ I heard a growl and looked down at my stomach. "Was that you?" Another growl. I quirked a brow. "Guess not." I looked around my kitchen and glanced in my living room, all while on my little stool. My eyes jolted back into the living room section, and I saw a man, I think, standing there at least seven or seven and a half feet tall.

Already knowing this guy wasn't the one that shot me, didn't really give me any comfort that he was standing there. Then I thought back to when I was shot, and remembered my attacker didn't finish me off because someone else entered the house. This must be the guy that entered then. Another growl emanated from this…man? I stood up quickly, and regretted the decision. My knees buckled, and I was face first on the floor.

Laying there, I heard the stranger's heavy footsteps come over and pause in front of my motionless body. Hearing a strange clicking noise, I tried to turn my head up to look at the intruder clearly. I failed and my head plopped back down on the oak floor. Hearing metal against metal as he, I believe, crouched down to look at me more thoroughly, I started thinking about how much I hated the CIA for sending me to Moscow to spy on Nikolai and other men possibly from the Russian mafia.

These might have been my last moments. Might have been.

The stranger's hand poked my unwounded side as though inspecting me. After a few minutes, that seemed like seconds, he grabbed me carefully and lifted me up. Hmm. A breaking-and-entering person, with chivalry? This day was getting better and better. I think I started giggling to myself, for he paused to look at me. Me, on the other hand, had blurry vision, and a really multicourse mind, I couldn't think if I wanted to thank the man or ask him if he believed in unicorns.

Whatever that liquid was, it was starting to kick in. I was giggling continuously now, and was probably scaring my guest. _'Oh great. Now he's my guest.'_ Two seconds later, roughly, I was dropped upon the couch with no gentleness to it. "Ouch! You..sshould…watch it missster!" I was getting really droopy, and decided to sleep it off then and there.

And with the last thought of, 'I wonder if he knows any good cooking recipes?' I was out. It was a dream filled nap. Little did I know that I would get one rude awakening in the morning. And it wasn't going to be a very easy day.

_Rek'hish_

A female ooman awoke me with her muffled screams of pain. I sat up quickly and looked in her general direction. Watching her, she did something else and let out another muffled sound of pain. From the looks of it she was tending to her wounds. I watched the ooman work, occasionally she let out a pained sound. After she seemed finished, she drank a clear liquid out of a glass container. I stood and made a growl in my throat so the ooman would recognize my presence.

The female looked down towards her stomach and asked it a question. _'Is this an ooman thing? To talk to your internal organs?' _I growled in confusion. The female looked up and spotted me. Growling again I took a step forward, and she tried to stand, only to fall upon her face in the process.

I walked over to the fallen ooman, but hesitated before I did anything. Oomans were known for their cunning. Clicking in curiosity, I crouched down and pressed two of my talons onto her skin, that was opposing the wound on her left. Fragile skin. First thought that entered my mind was just that. The next thing to cross my mind. _'What do I do with her?'_ I didn't know whether to put her out of her misery, or put her on the bed type thing by the fire. I didn't want to kill a defenseless ooman anyways, that was dishonourable…so I picked her up.

As I was walking to the fire, she started making a weird noise. I was assuming it was laughter, because her ooman lips were slanted upwards and in my studies that was a good thing. Then, surprising me, she asked a question. "Do you believe in unicorns?" I glanced down at her, and dropped her onto the cushiony thing. "Ouch! You..sshould…watch it missster!" And with that the ooman was sleeping.

For several more minutes I looked at her. Such interesting creatures, oomans were. Now later when the female woke up, I'd have to find out what a 'unicorn' was.

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Yay! Unicorns! Well that was the first chappie! I don't know when I'll update again, cause school is a bitch...

R&R please! Suggestions help!


	2. Wishful Thinking

This chapter might seem a little weird, but I was sick and exhausted when writing it ^_^' I have a horrible cold. Anyway, when it gets to the description of Rek'hish it's long (again sickness) so just kinda imagine the Predator 2 Yautja. And for the mask just combine Scar's mask with Wolf's designs and Celtic's three claw marks. Anywho, enjoy!

Disclaimer:I own nothing, except for Sandra, Arseni, and the cute little Dusko.

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_Sandra_

_Whine!_

I grumbled. What was making such an irritating noise. My head pounded as though I went through two bottles of vodka. Hearing the whining again, I decided that I'd better open my eyes and look. Mentally, on the count of three I widened my lids and looked straight into the muzzle of my year old pup. I groaned. "Dusko. What are you doing?" My Siberian Husky/German Shepherd dog whined again. Dusko sat on his rump and started thumping his silver tail on the floorboards.

Patting his head, I looked my pup over. Black coat with a pure white muzzle and silver tail. His mix matched eyes, one green and one gold, freaked out my boyfriend a lot and he often questioned why I even got the dog. I, of course, always gave him the same answer. "Just in case I ever need him to sick ya and take you down." Let's just say, Nikolai didn't find it funny.

Dusko whining again snapped me out of my thoughts. "Alright, alright. I'll get your food." As soon as I sat up, I felt searing pain. "What the-" I lifted my shirt up part ways and looked at the partially blood-soaked bandage that lay upon my wound. It all came back to me in a flash: the gun shots, the pain, bandaging and…_'That stranger in my house.'_ I cautiously looked about my house to see anything out of the ordinary. Nothing. Well minus my empty vodka bottle on the counter. Another whine emanated from Dusko. I returned my glance to him. "Fine just for you, I'll get up -even though I'm in a lot of pain- and feed you." He just wagged his tail happily.

Rolling my eyes and patting the pup's head, I got up slowly and hobbled over to the kitchen. Blood was smeared all over the counter top and some even managed to drizzle onto the floor. My Dusko just looked at it, gave a doggy shrug, and trotted over to his food dish. I opened a cupboard that had my pup's food within. I withdrew the bag and poured it into his dish, which he devoured quite quickly then padded up the stairs to -most likely- lay on my bed. After redoing my bandages and cleaning up the blood drenched counter, I spotted the bullets that were lodged into my body just the night before. I couldn't identify them. That wasn't really my forte, but I knew a man who could. Arseni. He used to work for the Russian mafia, so he was good with things of this sort. Poking my head behind the curtain to check the weather, I gaped. No sun. Just white. _'The blizzard is still fucking going?'_

Then a low growl emanated from behind me. '_That's a little to feral to be Dusko.'_ Slowly turning around, I met the creature that came into my house the night prior. This guy, I was assuming at the time, because come on! He had a freaking loincloth and abs I could bounce a bowling ball off of! Well anyway, he was about seven and a half feet tall. Towering over me, I felt small and inferior in my five foot ten inch frame. A mesh netting covered his yellowish tan-green body along with shiny battle ready armor. His skin also adorned an odd red pattern on his backside, occasionally dark. Technology, that I immediately knew was far superior to our own planets', was I assumed on his gauntlets, and the other things strewn about his body, much like the skulls decorating his armor. The one thing that caught my mind sight was the mask he wore. Fitted and void of design, so it looked at first, spikes protruded around the crown of the mask and just above where his eyebrows would be, and upon closer inspection, script that I could not identify was written on the dome of the helm. Most dominate of the mask was three long claw marks that raked down from end to end. One mark over each eye and the other in between them. Last thing I noticed was his "hair." It looked like dreadlocks but had metal and small bones intertwined within.

This guy was a lot to take in. His posture and all over being just screamed, _'killer, hunter, danger!' _but that didn't stop me from asking the stupidest thing you could ever ask, a seven, plus, foot tall alien. "Oh God, please tell me you come in peace?" Did I mention that I was practically crazy?

_Rek'hish_

The fur covered creature stared at me for a long while. I think the oomans called it a d'og. The creature wouldn't stop looking at me. I was surveying the oomans home –the snow, I think, was still falling in masses- and it was very small for one of my size and stature. That's when the d'og started following me. On our planet, we had similar creatures that we used to test the strength and agility of prey, but they were not covered in fur of any sort.

Well the creature padded over to me and ran it's tongue on my knee. _'Did it just lick me?'_ I found myself staring at it in odd confusion. That's when it padded away to its owner. It stared at her and whined. Annoying noise that it was, it seem to do the trick when the ooman got up and walked into the room that she was in the previous night.

I stood from my sitting position on the floor and stealthily walked in the direction of the ooman female. Wanting to see the reaction of the female, now that she wasn't slightly delusional, I stopped in the doorframe that was rather small. When she turned a shocked look, I'm assuming, appeared on her face. Her mandibleless mouth was slightly ajar with no noise coming from it. I cocked my head to the side in slight confusion. That's when she spoke. "Oh God, please tell me you come in peace?"

Staring at this female, I didn't know whether to just stand there and do nothing, or laugh. This was one of the ooman phrases I understood. I decided to stand there and give a small laugh. Nothing more. That's when she spoke another phase that I knew all too well. "Son of a _bitch!_" I snarled at her, wrapped my talons around her neck, and pushed her into a wall. I didn't like that term and she would die for it.

Fear became apparent in her eyes as I started closing my claws on her esophagus. I released my _ki'cti-pa_ ready to go for the kill, then she spoke again. "Are you hitting on me?" This made me stop, totally stunned. I lowered my _ki'cti-pa_ and trilled a questioning noise. She sighed, out of annoyance?, and continued. "Making a move? Trying to knock boots? Making a pass?" The ooman just kept saying things I didn't understand. Was she _hulij-bpe_? She sighed in finality and said one last thing. "Are you trying to have sex with me?" I dropped her in shock. Mating? With an ooman? Okay she really was _hulij-bpe._

I shook myself and looked down at the ooman. She was looking at her wound, and muttering to herself. I decided to ignore this ooman best I could. Even though I was in her dwelling, I would stay away as much as possible. I just couldn't wait till this blizzard was over so I could find my ship.

_Sandra_

Sitting on the floor, I watched the creature-man thing walk away, not even glancing at me. _'Are you hitting on me? Really?'_ What kind of person says that when they're about to get their head lopped off by an alien? A crazy person! I officially knew that I was crazy. Well…at least it made him stop from killing me. I looked down at my abdomen and saw some blood seeping through. "Great now I have to rebadged it." I slowly rose to my feet and made my way back over to a stool.

I saw Mr. Spaz in my living room sitting by the fireplace. Why did he freak out in the first place? Thinking on it, I realized why. He thought I called him a son of a bitch. I burst into a fit of laughter. _'The things you say will one day get you killed.'_ I thought of the words Arseni had said to me when we first met. He was right of course.

This is when I finally took the time to look at a freaking clock. "Holy shit!" It was fucking three in the afternoon. "Wow. I slept for awhile." I scoffed and returned my gaze to the alien in my living room. This time he was messing with the T.V. remote. He was examining it like you would a new species of plant. Poking, looking at the designs, or in this case, buttons. He pushed one button and the T.V. came on. Within minutes he was channel surfing. I was guessing he was a quick learner.

Walking in I was the station was turned on to _Comedy Central_, and with how he reacted to my 'phase usage' earlier, I was pretty sure he wouldn't like this station. I quickly popped into the room and changed the channel. He growled at me. "Trust me big guy, you do not want to watch that." He cocked his head to the side and looked past me at the television. I turned and looked also. What I saw made me smile. _Dirty Jobs_. I had a feeling he'd like this. Walking past him I hesitantly put a hand on his broad shoulder armor. "You'll like this one." And with that I started to walk toward the upstairs. First I turned and looked at him. He was looking back at me, for what I could tell. "Stay here." After saying that I booked it up the stairs and into the bathroom. _'Finally. A nice hot shower.'_

_Rek'hish_

I glared at the space where the ooman had been standing moments before. _'She told me to _stay._'_ Like some pet. I returned my attention to the screen. Something was playing, for entertainment of oomans was my guess, and it was called _Dirty Jobs_, I believe. I continued watching this, until I heard running water coming from the room above the one I was in.

Looking up, I used my infrared vision to see that the room was getting warmer…a lot warmer than sitting by this fire. I got up, then paused when I remembered the ooman telling me to stay. I shook it off, laughed at myself and started up the stairs.

_Sandra_

"Ahhhhh." Hot showers are a God send. Let no one tell you different. One downside though. When you have huge gaping wounds, the hot water hurts like hell. My entire bathroom was foggy. You could barely see anything in front of you. This is how I liked my showers. Steamy. That is until I hear my bathroom door opening and closing…then it just gets weird. I heard a trill that sounded a little content. I opened my curtain to, low and behold, see the freaking alien sitting there basking in the warm steam.

Letting out a high pitched squeal, I closed the curtain and repoked my head out. "What the hell are you doing in here?" He answered with a slight purr. "Get out, get out, get out!" The alien crossed his arms in defiance. I growled in my throat and he tilted his head to the side. I shut my eyes and rubbed my head. There was a headache coming on. When I looked up he was fiddling with my bra. "What the hell are you doing?" He pointed at it and looked towards me.

Sighing in defeat, I answered his nonverbal question. "It's called a bra and it supports women's…breasts." He seemed to accept the answer for he put it down. "Now would you please, hand me a towel?" I gestured toward my towel rack. He looked at the rack then me. Finally deciding that he would give me one, I took it, wrapped myself up and stepped out of the shower.

I hope he enjoyed the temporary view, because it was the first and only view that he would ever get. Before I stepped into my room, he spoke. I mean he actually spoke, English. "What is a unicorn?" This startled me to no end. I jumped and looked at him. His voice was unearthly and deep. Two things ran across my mind. The first, I really did ask him if he believed in unicorns last night didn't I? Second, where in the hell did he learn English?

Taking a deep breath I answered. "A unicorn is a horse-like creature with a singular horn protruding from the center of its forehead." He seemed to accept the answer, and he started walking away. "Hey. What's your name?" This was the one question I blurted, out of all the ones residing in my head.

He turned his head to look at me. "Rek'hish." One word. That's it.

I felt the need to let him now my name. "Mine's Sandra." He looked at me then returned to the downstairs. I, on the other hand, retreated to my bedroom.

Dusko was sleeping on the end of the bed. I didn't care if it was only four in the afternoon. I was tired. Hearing something break downstairs, I decided to ignore it. There was a giant alien in my house, I had been shot, and it was still fucking blizzarding outside. Now was the least of all times to be complaining about something that was broken. Crawling into my Serta mattress, I curled into a ball and looked at the wall.

This was just going to be like babysitting. Hell, maybe even that was wishful thinking.

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Was it weird, or was that just me? Yay! Rek'hish finally found out what a unicorn is! (along with a bra...XD) I'm just assuming that female Yautja don't wear bras so much as armor...anywho clarification on the Yautja meanings!

ooman - human (well yeah)

Pauk-de - fucking, fucker

Ki'cti-pa - Wristblades

Hulij-bpe - Crazy

I might of missed something, but it's 1:30 in the morning and I'm too tired to really care at the moment.

R&R Everytime you do a baby Yautja is born XD


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